do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
where are my eyebrows?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
