I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
