why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
