i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
