were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
