Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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