Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
