so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Enjoy the penises
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
