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We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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