You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Randomize
