dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
