i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
