I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
