why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
