what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
