pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
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