Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize