I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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