garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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