from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
