I want to have your abortion
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
they're like a gay fantastic four
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
