yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
