PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize
