Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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