Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
