wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize