Where is the hickey?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
