My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
