is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
