I wish I could punch you in the face.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
