Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I need moral support for this bender
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
