Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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