Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
