doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
