I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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