Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
