she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
