I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize