So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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