whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
