You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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