If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
