Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
