I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Farmville is her only friend.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
