I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
