I didn't shave. On purpose
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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