I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Girls should come with a carfax report
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
