I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
