so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
