My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
