Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize