My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
