So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
