i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
