we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
