She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Still dying that you shit outside
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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