He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
