I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
