It's like God shit irony all over that family
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
