I'll bet she douches with gravy.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Found the puke drawer
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
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