Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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