Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize