if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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